I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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