His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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