If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize