I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize