theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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