I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
