im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
