i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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