"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
