There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
