i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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