my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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