Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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