She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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