I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
