i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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