Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
