He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
