it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize