No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
