yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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