Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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