do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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