I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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