The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
