So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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