I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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