Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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