i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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