i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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