after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
