woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
