whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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