her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
