Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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