so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Boobs are out for the taking
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
