I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
