I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
farters have to be the big spoon...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
