at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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