Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
