Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
