worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
