I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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