Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
