I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
