you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
