The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
