We're facebook friends in real life
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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