Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I could fuck to npr.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize