i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He felt like a one man threesome
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
