Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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