I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's shark week go big or go home
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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