Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
