ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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