Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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