Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
