I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
