so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
