I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
